Not signed in (Sign In)


Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

Welcome Guest!
Want to take part in these discussions? If you have an account, sign in now.
If you don't have an account, apply for one now. Must use a valid COM-FSM email address.
    • CommentAuthorFaith
    • CommentTimeOct 22nd 2008 edited
    On the Easter Sunday there was this Sunday School Teacher gathering all his 12 Sunday School students to get ready for their drama. The role of their drama was about the time Mary and Joseph went to Jerusalem. Among the student there was a disable by the name John who plays the donkey's part, one of them was playing Mary's part. Early Sunday John woke up late because he drank Sakau night before. The Service about to starts and John's group were still wait for him to come. His mother went back to their house and woke him up. John woke up put on his skirt and t-shirt went to the shower room watering his face and left to church. John came to the Church and all the members of his group have already set. While they were waiting at the back of the stage their teacher started out on their opening ceremony and asked the donkey and Mary to start the skid. John rush in and start to crawl out from the back of the stage with Mary on his back. While they were crawling toward the opening spot before the crowd their classmates were laughing at them. The teacher went inside and asked the student not to make any noise. The student told the teacher to look at the donkey. The teacher look at the donkey and the students continue to laugh along with his students. When he look at the donkey, he saw the donkey's behind. The donkey's skirt was way up on his back, when Mary got up on his back he pull up the donkey's skirt on his back. The funny part is that,the Donkey didn't wear underwear inside his skirt. He called out to Mary for help to tell the donkey not to turn around but, reverse. However, Mary told the Donkey to go back to the back of the stage. The donkey got mad and slowly turn his back to the crowd not knowing what going on. While the donkey and Mary both turn to the crowd and crawl back to the stage the crowd start laughing at them, later the teacher went out and pay their apology. He came back in and ask the donkey and Mary to start all over the skid. John got mad at the teacher, and the student play role of Mary told John what had happened. Mary clearly explain to John why the crowd laughing at them, it was because John came from home didn't ware underwear inside his skirt. John told the teacher and Mary that he did it on purpose because donkeys don't wear underwear. If they need a donkey that wear underwear they will go find it and bring to the drama to play his part..
    • CommentTimeOct 22nd 2008
    wow what a funny story....
    see, kids are really smart...
    they know, just like writing a story
    of a pet...

    if there are brothers in your classroom,
    they can come up with the same story..
    if you ask them why, they will say duuhhhh!!!
    it is the same pet....
    • CommentAuthorAwata
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2008
    ahahhahahahahahahahahah aha aha ahhahahaha ahah a aaha aha aahah ahahah ah aa
    aha a ha ha
    ha ha a ha
    a haahah
    ahah...I think that sums it up of what I think of the story..........
    • CommentAuthorrengaw
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2008 edited
    calm down mr.awata, you laugh too much. you might be fart and have something in your
    • CommentAuthorvyvi
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2008

    A wealthy couple had planned to go out for the evening. The woman of the house decided to give their butler, Jerves, the rest of the night off. She said they would be home very late, and that he should just enjoy his evening.

    As it turned out, however, the wife wasn't having a good time at the party, so she came home early, alone. Her husband had to stay there, as several of his important clients were there.

    As the woman walked into her house, she saw Jerves sitting by himself in the dining room. She called for him to follow her, and led him into the master bedroom. She then closed and locked the door.

    She looked at him and smiled. "Jerves," she said."Take off my dress." He did this carefully."Jerves," she continued." Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her. "Jerves," she then said. "Remove my bra and panties." As he did this, the tension continued to mount.

    She looked at him and then said, "Jerves, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
    WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAK!!! good one!!!!
    • CommentAuthoresbenlynn
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2008
    hey is not...
    you just don't get it. that's why you don't think it's funny.
    • CommentAuthoresbenlynn
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2008
    WHAT EVER!!!!
    you love to say that word, esbenlynn. could you try saying "i love you" just one time?
    • CommentAuthorvyvi
    • CommentTimeOct 23rd 2008

    This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death.

    However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself, and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a mess hitting all over the ground.

    Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real @#$#@ when you're drunk!"
    The king, one day, summons all the princes in the region to participate in a competition to see who marries his beautiful daughter, the princess.
    a micronesian, an american, and an african were the only brave three who survived through series of challenges the king has set out, and the last competition was to be held. "the one who swims across this river of deadly crocodiles and back within 10 seconds marries my daughter and earns my kingdom." being so desperate, the american jumps in and is immediately swallowed up. being so confident, the african then jumps in, swims across and back, though it took him 11 seconds, so he was instantly taken away to be executed. now, the thing about the mirconesian was, he was extremely terrified of crocodiles, so he hesitated... suddenly, he was back, wet, breathing heavily, and looking pissed and it only took him 3 seconds... the king then exclaims his immediate wedding ceremony. the micronesian then exclaimed "I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER!! I WANNA KNOW WHO'S DAT DAMN *@#$%$$3 WHO PUSHED ME IN THE WATER!!!"
    • CommentAuthornite
    • CommentTimeOct 29th 2008
    a priest and his wife came back from shopping and they bought a ham that is called DAMM HAM.. they got to the house and their son was waiting.. so the wife prepared the food and they all sat down for dinner.. as they were eating... the priest told his son, "can you pls pass me the DAMM HAM?" the son so surprised at what his father said, and replied, "that's the spirit dad, now pass me the f*CK*n potato..."
    • CommentAuthormamma mia
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2008
    yall jek diz out...

    Daddy, please no........STOP!!!!!!!!
    You are one sick person if you don’t add your friends I feel for you if this doesn’t touch you because this is just wrong. Read this. its disgusting

    Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
    My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
    He pats the seat in the middle; I sit
    Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends

    "Jessy you love me don't you" a smile
    Their breathe spirts weeps
    "Daddy you know I do; what is it?"
    He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps

    His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
    Daddy’s creeping up my nightie; cold hands
    I try to pull his hand away;
    their grip is strong!
    They look at one another; nod; something planned

    I feel my palms sweat; Daddy’s under my knickers
    "Daddy I’m going to bed! Night" Pulling again
    But there grip is to strong for weak me
    I look at both; and ask, who are these men?

    His fingers going up me; pulling away
    His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
    His tongue moving mine; my eyes squint
    Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"
    No answer, I feel the pain inside me; him
    Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
    I try and scamper away, but I’m not fast
    "O Daddy please, I love you"

    His friend; pulling at my nightie
    And my Dad pulling my pants down
    His friend pinning my hands to the floor
    As my Dad lies himself on the ground

    I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
    And places me on top of Daddy; thrusts within
    I cry; I bite; I scratch; I slap; I fail
    "O Daddy please you win you win!"

    I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
    I can feel the blood seep down my leg
    "Daddy your hurting me please"
    I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg

    Daddy’s laughing; why does he laugh?
    His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
    Tieing my hands together; moving in and out
    "Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans

    They smile at one another; laugh to
    They roll me over and spread me wide well
    My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
    While his friend talks and pushes himself inside

    I can hardly breathe; I gag for air
    I cough and splutter; cry and weep
    I beg and plead; but its no use
    They’ve already made me hurt and bleed

    I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
    This is not my Dad; where is he?
    If he was still here; would he care
    would he actually even; see?

    Finally they get off and lay me on the sofa
    my cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
    they play with them selves; all over me
    Rub it in; making me feel the shame

    "Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
    Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
    "Jessy I love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
    "Is that all you have in your heart to say?"

    He puts my nightie on me
    he walks me to my bedroom door
    Ever since that night; His friend
    And himself every Friday come back for more

    "Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
    Closing the door, tears still down my face
    Still the smell of him and his friend
    Fade into me like disgrace

    I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
    "Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
    I cant help but cry; weep in pain
    Because I’m so scared he wanted more

    But one night daddy took it too far
    Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
    They were worried they would get caught
    So he and his friend took me to a cemetery lot

    I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
    "Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
    Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
    after that I tried to put up a fight

    I begged daddy "Please no more!"
    All he could say "Shut up you stupid piece of SHIT!"
    Daddy unblindfolded me at last
    He said I love you so much

    He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
    "Daddy I swear I won’t say a thing!!!!"
    I was dead
    after only one swing..........................

    **... Please if you care for all the children and women who have been raped add your friends to this conversation
    if you do not add your friends then you are promoting rape and violence!
    • CommentAuthorvNeLi
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2008
    OMG!! I CANT BELIEVE THAT!! THAT IS TOO SAD!! i dont know what else to say!!
    • CommentAuthormamma mia
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2008
    yeah rite, its so u think things like this can happen in our country???..i mean in the FSM???..
    • CommentAuthoratarawa
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2008
    going to happen, mamma mia...
    • CommentAuthorAwata
    • CommentTimeNov 12th 2008
    ahahha........and it will happen...
    • CommentAuthorvNeLi
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2008
    duh. if they dont exist than life wouldnt be life...
    life has complications...and yoor rite rahmoankuleid...they are SICK SICK SICK people!!
    i wonder what it wud be like w/out them!!
    • CommentTimeNov 13th 2008
    WOW...that story really really gave me the creeps ppl...
    • CommentAuthorUSMC
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2008
    damn, mamma mia, where did u got this?? mwo its really sad and at the same time if those people are around here, they deserve to die...not just any kind of dead but a nasty one for them...
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 14th 2008
    yeah... that story is really good for some families...

    i wonder how its gonna happen in the FSM because for sure they will not be living...
    • CommentAuthornite
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008
    f**k that story... sorry for the language but that made me really mad...
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008

    you really are crazy.. you dont know that the story is really good for many ppl uhh..

    wateva ....
    • CommentAuthorvyvi
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008
    that's's not sad, it's sick..... it doesn't deserve a WOW..... it deserves a big EEEEEW!!!! YUUUUK!!!! that's just sick
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008
    dat sad true story must not be in here..breaks mah heart and hurt mah head..supposed to put it in another topic..cus it doesnt just make sense to laugh and then the same time..
    well ppl..this story will truely teach us a lesson...
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008

    are you crazy this story is supposed to be posted to everyone and yet you think it is sick...

    i think you need to clear ur mind and put the story inside it ....for sure......
    Even though I think we might learn something from this story...I also think that it is sick...those two idiots are sick...mentally retarded or something...
    • CommentAuthormamma mia
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008
    yeah i know its sad..datz y i posted it for us to know that da best person we trust da most, can do unexpected stupid things for us...aite???..
    aren't you gurls trust ur papz da most??? is diz gurl...
    so wat hapend @ da end, her papz did everything including da two..
    how sad it'll be u or me???
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008 edited
    hey err1..since Mamma Mia posted a very sick/sad story i decided to put up a funny one...

    here goes...

    "Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

    They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

    He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”

    “Very well, then,” says God, “let us see if Jesus fared any better.”

    Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

    He stutters, “B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact. How did he do it?”

    God smiled all-knowingly, “Jesus saves.”"
    • CommentAuthoroopz
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008 edited
    thats right.. heres another one...

    Bill Gates died and then went to heaven. when he reached there, God told one of the angels to show Bill Gates around since he is a new arrival. so the angel took Bill Gates and they started to walk around the place and watching all the places that are possible for him to stay. the first place that they came across was a place that everyone there were really working hard and its so hot... just one look at the place and Bill Gates shook his head and said that he cant live there cus back on earth, he is like a KING! so him and the angel left that place and walked some more. the second place they came across is a little better then the first place they just passed. Bill Gates just look and then asked the angel... "is there another place that i havent seen?" the angel just nod then they walked on some more. when they reached the third place, everyone there look so happy and having the time of their life. just the sight of the people in there and the way they live then Bill Gates told the angel that he will stay there. so the angel left him there and went back. two days later, God told the angel to go back and check up on Bill Gates and see how he is doing. as soon as the angel approaches the place, Bill Gates ran to him and ask him, "why didnt you tell me this place is so hot and theres alot of work to do around and its so hot???" his complaints went on but the angel cut him off and told him... "I THOUGHT YOU KNOW THAT THE PEOPLE AND HOW BEAUTIFUL THE PLACE LOOKS WAS JUST A SCREEN SAVER SINCE YOU ARE THE ONE THAT INVENTED COMPUTER.. WE USED YOUR PROGRAM CUS ITS EASIER AND FASTER..."
    • CommentAuthornite
    • CommentTimeNov 17th 2008
    nice jokes.... good one...

    lisaleen, you know that story made me mad.. im not saying it's a bad story, im just so mad at the stupid dad.. aite
    • CommentAuthorAwata
    • CommentTimeNov 18th 2008
    I have a story....
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 18th 2008

    wat is dat story....

    did you hear that story when you were little?????? lol...hahahaha...
    no no no it's just a story that became true but he didn't encounter it since he was sleeping while it
    • CommentAuthorKimotion
    • CommentTimeNov 19th 2008
    mamamia!!! me very very very agree with ya.....
    • CommentTimeNov 19th 2008
    hey hey hey...

    i noticed that theres no blonde jokes here so i decided to drop in one...

    "A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she’s smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she’s laughing. He’s really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she’s laughing so hard, she’s about to fall down. He demands, “What’s so funny?” She says, “Every time you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle!”
    hahahahaha...that's soooooo funny...
    • CommentAuthormamma mia
    • CommentTimeNov 19th 2008
    anasylv, me like it..dats funny...hahaha!!! her car broke down???..
    • CommentTimeNov 19th 2008
    yeah but she was sooo stupid she didnt care cz all she was concentrating on was that li'l circle...dumb blonde
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 20th 2008
    ohhh that blondie is something she didnt care about the car...... and all she cares about is that circle...

    the circle is not expensive like that sport car i think..... dats a stupid blondie......
    • CommentAuthor4me2dne
    • CommentTimeNov 20th 2008
    who have seen the old school comedy? that's a hilarious, funny comedy. so take out your wallets and call a taxi to go to a rental video..
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 20th 2008

    which one is it...... why dont you share it so we can both know about it uhhh.... wat do you think.....
    Box Donation

    A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

    The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

    The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

    The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

    The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

    He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

    The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

    The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 20th 2008

    tats a funny one.....

    you really know how to tell jokes
    you want another one??? it is...

    Catholic Dog

    Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'

    Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

    Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

    Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
    • CommentAuthorLisaleen
    • CommentTimeNov 20th 2008

    you're really good in talking about priests....

    why dont you tell one that is not about priests....