Purposeful Dialoque: Exercise Patience and Be Sure that All Voices Have Their Chance to Be Heard

A Story

[Note: The full document Strengthening Purposeful Dialogue: A Handbook Of Guiding Principles, Protocols, and Strategies is available for download.]

A Description of Three Navajo Elders in Conversation

As the three old men exchanged pleasant conversation, each waited quietly and patiently for the other to form his thought, put that thought into words, and share it in its entirety before one of the others did the same. At no time did one man interrupt another. At no time did one finish the other’s sentence, as we so often do in conversation with a friend. Most interesting was that they always gave each other the time needed to form the thought they ultimately shared.

-Mark Rashid on "patience" (Rashid)

The Voice Not Heard

A staff member from a state campus joined a college-wide committee. The only way for such a member of the committee to join a meeting at the National campus was by using a dial-in line that would allow her voice to be heard over a speaker in the meeting room. In theory, this setup was to allow meaningful participation in college affairs by individuals who, because of the distance from Pohnpei, could not attend meetings in person.

But theory does not always match reality, and this staff member found that to be the case, even when the technology worked as planned. She would be introduced when the meeting started, but then the conversation went on as if she was not even there. People began to talk over each other and interrupt each other in ways that made it difficult to understand everything that was being said.

She also felt that there was not a way for her to enter the conversation since she preferred not to interrupt others. After a while, she began to feel that she was not even a part of the meeting. At the end of the meeting, when it seemed clear that everyone was ready to adjourn and leave, the committee chair asked her if she “had anything to add.” At that point she did not speak up, fearing that everyone would blame her for extending the meeting. Whatever wisdom she might have provided to the group had been lost.

Protocol

Try to be as good a listener as you are a talker. Sometimes doing so involves slowing things down a bit to allow others time to work out their thoughts and frame those thoughts in words, particularly when the topic of conversation is complex or may be new to some of those in the conversation. You might find this protocol is especially helpful when using technology to conduct meetings that involve participants at other campuses.

Strategies

In the story above, using any number of techniques might have allowed the staff member to be more fully involved in the meeting. Here are just a few:

The person chairing the meeting should monitor the flow of conversation and make sure to draw the silent voices into the dialogue. Don’t allow more than a few minutes to pass without asking for an opinion from those not physically in the meeting or those who seem reluctant to speak. Know the personalities of those in your meeting so that you can decide the best way to phrase such requests.
Allow people time to complete their thoughts without interrupting them. In CPWG meetings, for example, the group decided that individuals should adopt the old radio term of saying “Over” when completing their conversation.3/
Another technique the group used was to have each speaker identify themselves before speaking. This technique was especially helpful in allowing those joining the meeting remotely to track the conversation.
The chair should summarize the status of dialogue on a particular issue before moving on to the next topic or asking for a motion.